3/31/09 my princess

i swear she was like my best friend, and i cared so much for her. idk y things messed up but it did , i had feelings about her that i didnt feel for any1 else// i did love maybe 2 other gurls my whole life but this was a diff love , i loved talking to her kuz she was the only 1 that new exactly wat i was feeling . i made her laugh and i loved the way she laughed .. but i messed up and im sorry for that .. even tho we dont talk and we dont hang out she will always b 1 of my best memories nno mater wat ppl said about her i no i said somethings to her that i might of said to other gurls but i did mean them .. it wasnt a game ,.. i would love for things to go back the way they used to b because i was in my own world talking to her.. i kould read the letters everyday and be happy and sad at the same time.. if she only really knew how i really felt when i read them , ima change man .. i didnt change much but i changed enough to b a great friend even if we were not ment to b i would of thought we'd stay friends but i guess all good things kome to an end. but why right now? and if shes reading this i didnt wite this so u kould read it and by some miricle want me back , i wrote this because i dont kare wat any gurl thinks i wrote this because sometimes u have to write wat u feel and sometimes i feel better about this.. all i really wanted was for u to b my best friend and to kare and love me for who i am , i dont kno how all this mix up with other ppl got into the situation but what i do no is that when u kare about someone and u make promises u should keep them

SOOOOOO

theres theres girl.. and shee just might b wifeyy

I HATE

you

I DONT LOVE YOU

love

love,
now wat does this word mean...

this word is just a word filled with nightmares and dreams....

u dream of a perfect life , but have nightmares of its end...

love is just a word i hope i never ever have to here again...

for the feeling of love means to open yur soul..

and to let someone in is loves main goal..

til u let someone in and they never try to leave...

but if they ever did u feel like u kant breathe

love can turn to hate as simple as its seems..

but thats when u have nightmares and no more dreams

nightmares that scare u , and u dont no wat to do

i dream of u everyday but my nightmare came true.

we dont konnect now and we dont akt like b4

but remember 1 day my love will b knocking.

hoping u open the door

my life

so im sitting here at work and i thought to myself that i havent wrote anything in a while so let me just write , welll right now im at work and im listening to the radio , on fb , an don aim... ikinda have a headache and i dont wanna b here but its easiers then stealing kandy from a baby kuz i just sit down .. well i been ohde depressed lately and i know exactly why im depressed .. its it all revolves around 1 word.. 1 word that i dont not wanna speak of,... because that 1 would shouldnt b the reason im depressed .. i been hooking up my room lil by lil .. next will b the tv .. thinking about getting a 67'' flatscreen but idk yet kuz its $2,000 and i been saving for a kar ../ so im trynna see if i kan get it for wayyyyyyy cheaper... maybe wait till black friday , to kop it .. speaking of blac friday . its soon to make a year that i got shot on black friday,.. my unkle is in the hospital and thinking about thinfs like that makes me believe life is too short to not live ya life and to b going threw so much shyt depression and aggression.. i need a happy life ., and my unkle is getting better .. but i dont like seeing him in the hospitol.. i dont wanna see any1 i no in there that i kare about .. its not a good thing .. i recently lost someone klose to me and thats def not a good feeling... i need to better my life... i need that vacation i think that would help ... but i still dont wanna spend money kuz i need a new kar., theres so many things i wanna buy .. things i need to buy..
i miss my hair too..
i wanna grow it back but then i dont .. idk .. fuvk it..
well... im bout to get off this and just do nothing for another 3 hours , get off of work 7 am to then go back 7pm

ps.
....IMY... YEA ........ U OVER THER WITH THE HAIR

im in love

dear ........

i mutha fuckin love you that way u look at me when i look at u and u dont kare that i talk to ya friends kuz ya friends love me .... u stuck with me threw thick and thin and u never said nothing bad about mee and for that u will always b in my life
i love u ... my money
always and forever <$

what a night! smmfh

first that , now this..
im at work and this lady "falls out her wheel chair" .. smh alll the co wokers, my boss and tenants said for me to get ready for that kuz she does that for attention smh its 438 am why isnt she sleep shes liek 60
now i gotta file a incident report-_______-fukin bytch

just how i feel if my grammer is messed up its kuz im emotional right now

u no wat its funny how gurls think u akt the same twards them just kuz u say things 2 1 gurl in the past that u say to a url in the future .. if i feel about u the way i felt about that person y u so into yaself to think im playin u ?
like im only sopposed to kall 1 gurl wifey my whol;e life and if i get another gurl i kant kall her wifey .. an if i tell 1 gurl.. u make my world go round i aknat say that to the next gurl even if she does make my world go round.. smh
thats retarted kuz its not that im spitting the same g .. i was saying wat was from my heart.. and if i felt about u the way i felt about someone else then o well my fault i forgot i was a fuckin human .. yo i swear to fuckin god i hate society man .. ppl need to get there shyt stright ..
is2g that shyt pissed me off .. wow.. u out off all ppl to post someshyt like that
u think that i treat everygurl the same? fuck up outa here . when we used to talk ohde.. i kame to see u on my bday 3 am fresh out the shower just so u kould see me first on my b day and tell me hbd first .. did i do that with other bytches? no for the other gurl we had our lil thing going with letters.. did i do that with u ? no . i no im not the first guy u said ily too i no im not the first guy u thought of and i no im not the first guy u kissed
but guess wat ! YUR FUCKING HUMAN
am i sopposed to get mad that u kissed ya ex ? no
thats the crazy thing man , whats even funnier is that the 2 ppl i used to talk to u dead are like there best freinds.. whp fuckin does that?
honestly
right now im tired of the bulllshyt .
all 3 of ya kan jump off a mutha fuckikin kliff togetha kuz im done
fuck this blog shyt fuck all that ... yur blogspot made me realize alot of shyt
thankyou stephanie lavigat

at work

did 80 hours
i love it
money makes me happy wen im sad , but i still b sad ='[

im tight

i h8 my life , kill me
il givee $1,000
to who eva chops my head off

AT WORK

SO IM AT WORK .. 3-11 AND I LOVE THE END RESULT .. WHO DOESNT.. I THINK I RATHER WORK THEN CHILL
AND HANG OUT IN THE STREETS .. SOME PPL R DIFF BUT ID WORK EVERYDAY IF I KOULD .. ESPECIALLY AT A JOB LIKE THE 1 I HAVE NOW..
I FUCKS WITH MY SON CHINO FOR GIVING ME THIS JOB .. THAT PIZZA SHOP SHYT WAS WACK .. BUT IM THINKING ABOUTGOING BACK JUST TO HAVE ANOTHER JOB .. LOL U KAOULD NEVER HAVE TOO MUCH MONEY .. WHO SAID MONEY IS THE ROOT TO ALL EVIL.. ??? MONEY IS THE ROOT TO HAPPINESS FUCK THAT LMFAO .. BUT BIENG EVIL IS HAPPY FOR ME .. SO SAY WAT U WANT .. BUT MONEY FIRST
"I AINT RACIST , I WAKE UP EERY MORNING AND KOUNT WHITE FACES"
<3 <$ <3

17 more min

and i get to go home and go to sleep
im tired n hungry

at work

still watching the NOTEBOOK
got me thinking about MATIWANEY

AT WORK

G MACKIN WATCHING THE MOVIE THE NITEBOOK.. I LOVE THIS MOVIES, STEPHANIE YUR WILDIN OUT THIS MOVIE IS OHDE POPPIN

MAYBE IT MIGHT NOT B LIKE THE MOVIE U LIKE BUT THIS MOVIE IS STILL MAD GOOD.

I WANNA

LOVE YOU
FOR
EVER

SMH

dead ass at work and they dead ass blocked facebook lmao thats some korney shyt ,

SOMETIMES

i think of you


.
.
.
.........
.
.
SOMETIMES

wuzz good blogspot,
at work right now g mackin ,.. kame to work late but its nothing my supurvisor said its ok
so im good
mad tired though
got plans for tonight ... might party idk yet
im off this tho

AT WORK

g mackin at work... bout to leave in another houir.... here till 8
this is the easiest job , kuz i feel like im at home getting paid for this shyt
well when i go home iimaa g mack might work out idk yet
ate some food and my stomach is hurting . the lady thats training me is mad kool
her sis looks mad good lol
but yea im off this .. hmu on facebook il b there

just finished kutting the grass smh i dont think it was a good idea to kut the grass in shorts with slipperrs with no socks kuz i was ohde itchy , took a quik shower
now im drinking karrot juice
i wish blog spot was poppin ohde
but not like facebbook ,.. wayyyyyyyyyyy to many ppl on that i just want enough ppl to have this that way we kan konnect and update eachother on wats going on.

il b back , im going to check my facebook

see wats going on in thats crazy world

my moms want me to kut the grass but its my day off and i dont feel liek it .. lmao i just feel like g mackin with my circle , ya feel me
well ima bout to go blast music out of my garage and kut the grass
im b back on this tonight and post wat i did today dso ya kan be all nosey and read about the things i do ,

btw
my moms made some bangin assss chicken, wtf?
that shyt was extra goood... boneless chicken and broccoli o man i love it

613 AM AT WORK

well im at work .. i love my job and all i do is sit here so its some lazy shyt but i get paid for it .. i just actually thought about it ... bieng on this job i kan actually blog more now and i wont b so bored.. its about 6 o clock an the sun is koming out and i leave at 7 the first thing i do when i get home is make me a sandiwch , i kould rally go for some pizza
money is the rroot to evil but i love it
the only thing i hate about this building is that my phone looses service,.. btw im going to get a new phone pretty soon and ima ump off the aim thing kuz i been on it for a while.. but ima let every1 know my number and ishhh.. lol
i was here at work daydreaming about the food that stephanie was mentioning because im sooo hungry i havent ate since wayyyyy earlier and all i had was some small microwave taco things like the size of my finger
i kant wait to eat something when i get home ..
do i got anything else to say?
OH YEA .. IM ON MY STACKIN MONEY
STAYIN OUTA TROUBLE .. IF I KAN.
I WANA SAVE UP FOR A NEW KAR NEW APARTEMENT SO THAT WAY I KAN HAVE A WIFEY.

so its sunday , and its 333 am and i gotta b up for work at 7
wtf
fml
any way
hopefuly tomorow goes well,
i have alot of things on my mind and i have alot of goals to pursue and hopefully i kan go threw with them,
yo why this carrot juice taste extra good tho?
lml

i was wondering if i should grow my hair back ,
or if i should keep it short, im growing out my beard trynna go for that jim jones type look
but ima crush it way betta
btw
i need to kop thta louis vuitton belt and that burberry jacket b4 october,

december im trynna go to the pocanoes
2 diff trips though
with my friends and 1 trip with someone special
also
i plan on moving away
but thats a next year goal
after i kop my new whip on my birthday
march 4th 2011

sexy ,
dont think i forgot about u
u never leaving me
kuz im never leaving u
u beeen there for a minnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn
and im glad
sorry for all the rough times we had
i kame to apoligize,im sorry, my baad
this wasnt sopposed to rhyme but klearly it do
no matter what , mrs ________ i will always love you


as a friend aas anything, w.e u wanna kall it

so, i just woke up and im mad tired lol its 250 am
my stomach hurts
my head hurts
i dont feel good
i ran into a olf friend tday, jessica. somegurl i used to work with and it was hilarious , lml i fucks wit u
so i thought about it , and i wanna write a poem everyday on here off the head, so heres my first 1

kalled . a friend

a friend , someone who kan put a smile on yur face,
a friend , someone who will let u no u have bad taste,
a friend, someone u kan talk to and remenice
a friend, the best ones is the ones that u kan kiss
noow wit a kiss that changes everything, dont you for-get, a friend who kisses a friend is a friend with beni-fits,
someone ,
who may b someone u love ,or someone u like ,
the love of yur life or hubby or wife,
true friends stick with u no matter wat ppl say
only because they love u at the end of the day
now wat do u kall a person whom u love
and u no they love you to , but not just as a friend
someone who stuck all the way threw
someone who kared and stuck by ya side
no matta wat ppl said they always kept there head high
i kall that yur everything from start to the very end
and
ILYWAMH my more then very best friend

Just found out I kan blog from this bumb ass kick,
Well im home in bed kuz I don't feel good my neck hurts, nose is stuffy
and I feel light headed at times.
My life sucks dead asss but I start work soon so that's all ima do is
work work work
I don't need a life kuz mines is wack.
Glad I left that other job as manager  because now ima make more money
then b4 with wayy less responsibility
Even though my old job was easy
Ima smart person believe me, my next goal is learning spanish, I will b
blogging a lot more often just kuz I kan blog on this kick now

im aktually mad kuz i had to email my self this kopy and paste it kuz i
really kouldnt send it from my sidekick lol
fuck it

FmL

i kant wait to get my own apartment

just got back from stephanies party wild tiwisted
i got mad shyt on my mined
im out to eta this cheese burger then vbouncee to slepp

616

just finished playin ballk im mad sweaty and shyt lol
im bout to go home and takle a shower and get ready for steph party .
today was type fun but im already dead tired..
kant waqit till lata on i no ima have fun
i hope my night dont get spoiled

It's been too long and I'm lost without you
What am I gonna do?
Said I been needin' you, wantin' you
Wonderin' if you're the same and who's been with you
Is your heart still mine?
i wanna cry sometimes
I miss you
Now I'm sittin' here
Thinkin' 'bout you
And the days we used to share
It's drivin' me crazy
I don't know what to do
I'm just wonderin' if you still care
I don't wanna let you know
That it's killin' me
I know you got another life you gotta concentrate baby
Come back...to me
Can you...feel me
Hear me...callin
For you...'Cause it's
It's been too long and I'm lost without you
What am I gonna do?
Said I been needin' you, wantin' you
Wonderin' if you're the same and who's been with you
Is your heart still mine?
I wanna cry sometimes
I miss you
I...can't...breathe...no..more
Since you went away I
Don't really feel like talkin'
No one here to love me
Baby do you understand me
I can't do or be without you

G

MACKIN

well i went to modells today and i kopped my red chucks.. i think they look nice on my feet my friend freddy try to say i dont look right with them but i no i do i dont pay attention to niggas like that i like the way i dress .. fuck it ..so i went to the park again shyt was wild wack i dont think ima b going there to NOTplay ball....
i really feel like going to the movies,
life sucks
i need a wifey
kant wait till i have a fam of my own

bout to go buy some chucks

8:51

sitting here in this room just thinking my life awasy .. i always think , i think i think to much wat do u think lol.. fuck it.. sometimes i wonder how my life would b if i kould change 1 thing , i thinki i wanna go to the movies and watch a movie.. even if it is bymyself .. i dont think thats bieng a loseer if u want some alone time fuck it ..
when life gives u lemons U MAKE LEMONADE,SELL IT AND MAKE MONEY
money makes the world go round and i deff love it but it dont make me happy kuz i dont have no one to spend it on.. just recently had a bbq,.. spent ova 400 kash .. but thats light ,... fuck it .. i b wildin sometimes..

p.s
do u think of me ?

chillen home today .. hot and muggy, and i have a headache.. smh
i hate having a headache.. my eyes is real low
and i feel like ima pass out .. if i do
fuck it
i die

so my parents left to st thomas for 10 days i guess i got the free brib , havent slept since yesterday, idk if im tired or if i wanna work out idk if im hhungry or if im thirsty , idk if im hot or im good, idk wat today is , but i do no i love you o_0

10:15 am

i still havent been to sleep and i just noticed
im madddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddd
thirsty
wth and im hot
my room has a ac but i kame out here to b on the pc real quik..
i wonder is any1 actually reading this?
o well
ima keep typing anyway
goodnight
see u at 8pm tonight when i wake up
lol
gonna straight work out =]

7:19 pm

i just woke up and i feel better from when i went to sleep .. i kinda had a headache, maybe i thought of you too much ?
lol
fuck it
it hurts me more when i dont think of u
idk wat this is
ima go skate kuz i havent skated in mad long so fuck it im bored

6:45 am

and for some reason i dont feel too good.. im going to bed

by the oceanview, while i think of you

im stressed
really
really
stressed
its 512 am and im going outside to the water and watch the sunrise while i think of you
the only thing that klear my mind of stress is when i full my mind with u
are you some type of medecine?
well i hear the birds chirpping which means its time for me to go
bye
i love you

FML

SO TODAY I WAKE UP AT 8PM, I DONT NO Y I FLIPPED MY WHOLE SCHEDULE AROUND. MAYBE BECAUSE MY NEW JOB IS GOING TO KONSIST OF STRAIGHT NIGHT SCHEDULES... THATS CRAZY, WELL I WOKE UP TO FIND OUT THAT I HAVE A TICKET ON MY KAR FOR 10 DAY EXPORED REGISTRATION ON MY KAR
SMH

IDK WHY THIS HAPPENES TO ME
IM LIVING THE WORST LIFE EVER
EVERYTHING IS GOING ABSOLUTELY WRONG AND IDK HOW TO MAKE IT RIGHT
THIS SUCKS
I WISH I HAD SOMEONE TO TELL ALL MY SECRETS TO

i dream of you distant dreamer

yea , i kut my hair fuk it.. i had it for 16 yrs. it was about time for a change

who is she? i always think of her, always .. not to menton the times i get distracted by thinking of her. is this love, yea, pretty much